party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
