ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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