When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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