69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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