Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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