rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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