shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize