mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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