haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
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