im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
