he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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