Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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