White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
