thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
