Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
