Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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