I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
