question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
