Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
