i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize