from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
