HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
