wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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