let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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