We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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