I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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