he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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