I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
