She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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