guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
