found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just want nice things and good sex
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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