I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
