This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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