i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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