In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
