If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
