Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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