i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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