when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
