I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
