And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
