just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
