Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
