Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
