i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
