I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
