There was a lot of him and a little penis
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
