Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just cropdusted the office
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
