Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
