Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
