Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
