The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
