I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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