If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
