"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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