there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
