This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
