he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize