You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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