I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
