I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
As shirtless as possible
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
