I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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