genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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