Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
