Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
